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| this site is right up the road from us. |
yesterday i shared:
"grateful for turning over new leaves in my spiritual life. discovering fresh truths for the first time, establishing my beliefs, newfound sisters and brothers. it's a journey and i'm enjoying this autumn path."
in specifics, what does this mean you ask?
i'll tell.
baptism.
it's powerful.
way more powerful than i was ever taught. more than i ever sought. more than i ever believed.
it's necessary.
more than i was ever taught. or ever sought. or ever believed.
so, with a giggle, i am announcing that for the fourth time in my life
i'm getting baptized.
except this time it means something other than obedience.
yes, it means
salvation.
just last weekend i was feeling particularly desensitized.
and i specifically thought, "how can God be living in me and i have no feeling? no genuine sense of happiness/laughter, no empathy or sympathy? i don't feel it. i can go through the motions, but i don't feel it."
simple:
God's not living in me.
before when i was baptized (once as a baby, twice as an adult) i wasn't aware of the reception of the Holy Spirit at that point.
and this is something i've discovered over the past couple of months as i've studied.
looking up the actual greek, along with reading the KJ3, and i've learned that this is something i can't deny. i just can't. because if i let my pride take over, i would deny it. my oh-i'm-not-wrong-this-is-what-i've-always-heard mentality i've since denied. and died to.
my-oh-you-know-way-more-than-i-do-so-i'll-just-follow-what-you-say-and-think mentality i've since denied.
God and His word are my authority.
and with them i won't be lost.
and, as my friend pointed out last night, my journey, especially in the past two years, abruptly and beautifully makes sense now.
i've sought God. and i've wondered over the past two years, "where are You? i don't feel You, i certainly don't see You......."
well, He's shown me everything that church is not.
everything that love is not.
everything that trust is not.
everything that community is not.
and my eyes are now open.
and i am ready to take the plunge.
: )
happy thanksgiving.